"Trust" is an important ingredient in any relationship, and that includes the relationship between a child and that child's day care provider. But trust needs to be nurtured and strengthened. Here are some tips for building children's trust:
Be dependable
Do your utmost to keep a very regular schedule so children can count on you. Tell older infants and toddlers ahead of time when you will be absent. Greet children at the door each morning to help get their day started.
Know each child as an individual
By responding to each child's unique personality and style, you help children learn that they are valued for who they are.
Adapt your daily routines to children's individual needs
Feeding Anthony (4 months) when he is hungry, or giving Leah (32 months) time to finish the zoo she is building even though it is cleanup time, tells these children that you care and that they can trust you to meet their needs.
Encourage children to participate in daily routines
Inviting Nate to help wipe off the table and put the sponge away under the kitchen sink shows you respect his developing abilities and trust him to do a good job.
Listen and respond to what children say
Infants and toddlers communicate through crying, cooing, babbling, the expressions on their faces, and eventually through words. When you hear 23-month old Rachel screaming "No!" and you step in to help her protect her "blankie," you are telling the child she can get her message across and can depend on you.
Provide opportunities for making decisions
Offering Benjamin clear choices, such as, "Do you want a piece of pear or apple?" shows your respect for his need to be independent.
Use words and tones of voice that say you care for and respect children
For example, when Lisa takes a toy away from Jeremy, choose words to show both children that you understand their feelings: "Lisa, I know you want the fire truck, but Jeremy is playing with that one. Let's go over to the shelf and find one for you."
Say goodbye when you leave the room
A few words, such as "I am going upstairs for a minute. I will be right back," show children they can trust you to let them know what is going to happen and that you won't suddenly disappear.
Treat children's bodies with respect
Explain to an infant, "I am going to change your diaper now," and ask a toddler, "Do you want to help me wipe the jelly off your face?" Give a reason why you must take off Jason's wet shoes and socks. This helps children learn about their world and, at the same time, conveys a message that they are people and worthy of respect.
And Remember:
When you feel cared for and good about yourself and your work, you are more available to children. And, when some of your own needs are met, you are better able to meet theirs.
From the April, 1993, issue of The Teddy Bear.
