Are you ready to turn over a new leaf by issuing and enforcing a new, less flexible set of rules for the children? Although it is never too late to issue an updated set of rules, adults should never "lay down the law" just at the moment when a child is misbehaving. This will only add to a sense of disorder.
It is better to sit them down in a moment of calm and explain things simply and clearly:
- Be Honest. Say that things are going to change because in the past rules were not followed and enforced. Tell the child that you are now going to be stricter in the future.
- Be Understandable. Kids should understand the reason for the rules. A good way to illustrate this point is by asking the child to explain the way their favorite sport or video game works. When he/she sees that even fun activities do have guidelines, the child will better grasp the importance of rules.
- Write It Down. Write down the rules so that they will be set. If you have established a rule of no fighting with other children at the table, and the punishment for breaking that rule is a certain period of time with no television, then let the child know what to expect if they break the rule.
- Ask For Input. Asking the child for input can do wonders for both parties. The child will feel more important, and the adult can learn what children consider to be fair. But remember, you never have to revise a rule unless you feel that it is necessary.
- Enforcement. Now that the rules are set, be sure that they are actually enforced. If you donŐt act the moment a rule is broken, all your planning and rule-making will be for nothing.
- Reinforce With Love. Kids may feel unloved after being punished. Adults should let them know that once they have completed their punishment, everything will be forgiven.
From the April, 1995, issue of The Teddy Bear.
