Anyone who has shopped at a store or a mall with children -- especially young children -- knows that the experience can sometimes be trying, even highly stressful. Here are some steps which can change potential misery into potential mastery when it comes to shopping with kids.
Plan Ahead
- Check attitudes. Is the child too tired or hungry to shop? Are you? If yes, postpone your trip or find day care for the child.
- Explain the rules. Before entering the store, make your expectations clear, such as "Stay close to me," or "Use your quiet voice."
- Secret words and signals. You can both use this to get the attention of the other. Develop some sign language that means "Stop," or "Use your quiet voice."
- Bring-A-Longs. Bring special things from home that the child can keep busy with, such as a favorite stuffed animal, a nutritious snack, a storybook or picture book, or small action or manipulative toys.
- Agree on rewards for good behavior. Keep it simple, such as a choice of a favorite snack or a stop at the park. Promise to read a story or play a game at home.
At the Store
- Make a game out of shopping. Who can see the bananas? Who can find the shoe store first? Who can see a person wearing red? Which store begins with a "T?"
- Give children some choices. When possible, allow the child to make some decisions. Blue or red socks? Chocolate or vanilla ice cream? Be prepared to bargain or compromise.
- Give the child a responsibility. "Can you please help me pick out the hardest apples?" Or let the child help steer the cart.
- Play "I see something." Then, ask the child what it is.
- Praise the child. "You are being so helpful." A hug can be reassuring and often says more than words.
- If there's a wait in the check-out lane, consider these ideas: Tell a favorite story and have the child tell the parts he/she knows. Do quiet cheers, spelling the child's name ("Give me an A..." etc.)
If All Else Fails
- Remember, kids will be kids. They are not perfect. Of course, neither are we . . . But we are the adults.
- Ignore inappropriate behavior unless it becomes dangerous, destructive, annoying to others, or truly embarrassing.
- Remove a child who is out of control. Take her to the restroom or out of the store. Tell him quietly that this behavior is absolutely unacceptable.
- Wait. Try saying nothing at all. Wait for the child to calm down, then ask if he/she is ready to try again.
- Go home if the child cannot calm down. If your shopping cannot wait, find day care and return alone.
- Don't ever buy the child a treat from the store where a fit or temper tantrum was thrown.
- If one of your rules is that you will have to leave the child home the next time you go shopping if he/she misbehaves while shopping, be sure you follow through and do it.
Adapted from materials from the:
Minnesota Committee for Prevention of Child Abuse
1934 University Ave. W.
St. Paul, Minn. 55104-3426
From the August, 1993, issue of The Teddy Bear.
